Mr. Barkley, I presume

Have you heard of Gnarls Barkley?

You know the group who’s name sounds like Charles Barkley?

Yeah, Crazy. What’s with the punny basketball band name? I decided to find out if another basketball player’s name would be better for their band name.

Here’s what I did.

1. Came up with some fast and dirty punny basketball names – in the same spirit as Gnarls Barkley -

2. then googled those names to see what comes up.
Before we begin, according to wikipedia, who you can believe 100% because it’s on the internet, Gnarls Barkley “denied that the band’s name is a reference to former basketball player Charles Barkley, saying “Nope. It’s just like everything else on this record. There was no conscious decision about stuff.

Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo of Gnarls Barkley definitely not impersonating that wolf-droog Alex from “A Clockwork Orange”

On to the names:
1. name: Tragic Johnson

google result: Oh, it seems that a guy named Markus added this to the urban dictionary in 2003 saying “Earvin “Magic” Johnson has aids.” On the site it has one thumb up, and one thumb down.

Outlook as a band name? Umm. A little too lame really – i mean, Magic had that whole lame talk show thing for like 14 minutes and that was rather tragic in its own right – it was terrible. Keep it real, and stay away from this one.

2. name: Kilt Chamberlain

google result: According to sports site Red Deportivo, “la marca del legendario Kilt Chamberlain de 100 puntos era algo muy especial y “�nico”, que todav�a no hab�a podido asimilar.”

Outlook as a band name? Not Good. Hmm. Aside from its obvious appeal in the Scottish community – and perhaps among Spanish speaking Deportivo sports fans – that’s about it.

3. name: Larry Beard

google result: whoa! larry beard takes photos of surfers! and he’s also #55 on the Georgian Southern Eagles football team.

In short, a really bad name for a band.

4. band name: Cream Abdul Jabbar

google result: ” A local band called Cream Abdul-Jabbar resides in Tallahassee Florida”

And probably plays gigs at the Hojo, the Ron Jon, and the Bob Evans (if they have them there.)

As a band name? Um, let’s move on.

5. name: Psycho Jordan

google result: The first reference has to do with Michael Jordan – someone reviewing the book “Playing For Keeps” said “There were times in the book where I felt almost sick to my stomach reading how incredibly psycho Jordan can be.”

So yes, Psycho Jordan is a good band name alternative for Gnarls Barkley.

No. Who are we kidding?

They’re both bad band names.

If you’re going to adopt a basketball pun name as your band name, why not just adopt the punniest basketball name ever as your name.

It came from a real guy, and this is his real name:

World B. Free.

Can’t we all get along? I think you’re crazy.

Pride of Portugal

Dundas Street was alive last night as Portugal beat up the Dutch 1-0.

People honking. Blowing whistles. waving flags.
Good times.

Can’t say the same thing for the Swiss however – missing 3 penalty shots is crazy!

There is an old saying that you can’t practice penalty shots, but i disagree.

You can practice them. And practice they should have.

Zero goals on three shots.

We didn’t even see the huge Ukranian striker.

Ahh well. No matter.
Upcoming, Brazil may find that they have a bit of trouble on their hands with Ghana.

Don’t underestimate them just yet.

By the way, it’s quiet in the neighbourhood here.

Proof that
a) there aren’t any Ukrainians around here, and if they are they’re not celebrating

b) there aren’t any Italians here – and if they are, they’re up on St. Clair celebrating.

and c) leaf fans aren’t taking to the streets to celebrate the addition of Andrew Raycroft.

Arg…goes.

Marky phoned me at work today and started telling my why Argentina is going strong.

He agrees with me that we haven't seen the best of England just yet, and this just may be England's best team in our lifetime. (Sorry Gazza.)

Even with an injured Michael Owen.

For the record, Argentina are going to smoke Mexico tomorrow.  

Mexico might as well bring back their flashy goalie Campos (the one who designed his own soccer shirts back in the early 90s) – because that's about the only thing that's going to be entertaining on their side.

Argentina look solid. Not arrogant. And, they're getting things done.

Ghana gonna do it.

But it’s not that Ghana are playing amazing.

It’s that their group is mediocre. Look at their opponents:
- The United States are not having a great world cup.

- Italy are not having a great world cup.

- And Czech, for all their first game victory and their FIFA status as second best soccer playing team in the world, are not having a great world cup.

This is no group of death.

The Italians, having gone down to 10 men against USA last Saturday pull Totti out of the game.

I’ve seen Totti single handedly run a game (when Celtic came and played in Toronto – Totti scored the only goal against them and ran the show.)
I’m not sure why you don’t leave him in that game.

Italy have little direction this year.
USA seem willing to self implode. At least their coach is ready. Arenas just seems one second away from a head busting heart attack. 

They should have brought Cobi Jones just for the hype factor. 

The Czechs, now down to 10 men against Italy today and losing 1-0 at halftime, seem to be unable to do anything without their massive striker Jan Koller.
 

I'm predicting Ghana make it through. 

Glaus = Tall-stop.

I think it's a great idea that Troy Glaus (Gloss) play short-stop for the blue jays.

I like Hillenbrand – let him handle third, and put that hulking Troy in short.

There are people out there that talk about natural positions. And they can point to how Russ Adams is now at second base.

My point of view is that they're baseball players – at some point you can play other positions in the field. (Save for catcher – which is a totally different skill-set all together.)

Yes, i'd love to have a Miguel Tejada play for the Jays at short.

But that's not an option.

I like what Gibbons is doing here with Glaus – shake it up, why not?

I mean, he's stuck with putting Josh Towers back on the mound (1-8) this series against Atlanta, why not shake it up and try to get something close to a winning lineup. 

Post-cup partem

The worst part of the stanley cup final game is watching the losing team on the bench.

Let's go back to the end of the regular season. When the leafs lost, and didnt' make the playoffs, it was just anti-climactic. "Oh well, better luck next year."

 For the edmonton oilers, the 8th place seed, to come so close to the cup – fight back from a 3-1 deficit, and then lose a close one in Carolina – is really tough.

 They weren't blown out in the last game.

 It's not that they were swept.

 They were close. real close. 

but in the end, it wasn't enough.

Mad Dogs Part two

Actually, I've reconsidered.

Peter Crouch – lanky striker

K-9 from Dr. Who

Crouch… the early years

- robotic exterior, robotic interior

- doesn't chase balls.

-affinity for hair gel (it keeps the circuits moving)

- strange, robotic post goal celebration

for example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9G1XGxgCA8 

Mad Dogs and Englishmen (Part One)

Ever wonder what kind of dog English soccer players would be if they were dogs? (How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?….)

At twelve noon the natives swoon and no further work is done, But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.

- Noel Coward.

Special for you, just before the high noon kick-off against Trinidad and Tobago is the first installment. (With special thanks to wikipedia where I found most of the dog information & photos, and FIFA for the headshots of those mad dog Englishmen.)

Michael Owen – Striker.
Jack Russell Terrier.

“Come on Michael, Go to the Net!”

- intelligent, high-energy breed. Always ready for a sprint to the net.
- Built for speed and strength, they will always be ready to play. I hope he’s ready to come back to Liverpool next year…
- They lack the nervousness that makes so many small dogs “yappy”
- rarely bark without good reason. Michael Owen never dives – and doesn’t complain to refs the way other strikers do.
- their fearlessness can scare off a larger animal – like Centre Backs – but their apparent unawareness of their small size can lead to a lopsided fight if not kept in check.
David Beckham – midfield
Beagle

- very good temper and gentle disposition.
- intelligent, but are stubborn and may be hard to train (perhaps because they train themselves on the pitch kicking ball after ball after ball.)
- They are an especially loyal breed (Ing-ger-lund!) and are very friendly (look how much he smiles).
- They rarely show signs of aggression and are excellent with children – especially kids named Brooklyn.
- They howl (in a higher pitched voice) instead of barking.
- get along with other dogs, provided that they (the other players) have been socialized correctly. You know, say nice things about Sven Goren.
- playful and energetic dogs who enjoy long walks and shopping excursions with their free spending wives.
- Being scent hounds, if released, they may follow a scent (ball) endlessly or will incessantly try to tag along with other dogs (in the midfield) regardless of cars, referees, mud, or the sudden appearance of Roy Keane’s cleats.
- Beagles are pack animals, and can be prone to separation anxiety from Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, or Victoria Posh Beckham.
- That said, they are best in pairs (ie. with Posh) if they are going to be alone on a beach somewhere away from the eye of the paparazzi for long periods of time.

Peter Crouch – Lanky striker
Whippet.

“someone kick me a ball… i’ll miss it”
- called a “poorman’s greyhound”
- not generally aggressive
- generally quiet and gentle dogs, content to spend much of the day sleeping.
- not suited to be guard dogs due to their trusting and unsuspicious nature
- however tend to attack cats (soccer balls?) that stray onto their territory – key word is stray, as if it makes no effor to get the ball itself. ?

Owen Hargreaves – Canadian born midfield
Rat terrier

young owen in the Calgary foothills
- Rat Terrier is an American dog breed. Or is it Canadian? Or is it Welsh? Oh wait – wikipedia says the Rat Terrier type originated in England.
- normally cheerful dogs, but there are occasional dogs who are extremely sensitive to changes in their environment. For example, people asking the why he didn’t play for Team Canada, or to unexpected noises like the Canadian national anthem, or people such as English fans saying he shouldn’t be on England.
- they can be bonded to and protective of their owners – especially when they’re owned by Bayern Munich. Perhaps England should watch out for any “Owen” goals he might “accidently” give up should they meet Germany later in the world cup.

Wayne Rooney – striker
pit bull (obviously)

“who wants a piece?”
- when it bites, it doesn’t let go.
- confidence and loyal temperament.
- In addition, they have an extremely high pain threshold. Even if they have a broken foot, they’ll still want to but put in the match.
- As athletic and energetic dogs, “pit bulls” need to be exercised frequently. Thus a reason why the Coach may put him in today against Trinidad and Tobago.
- need I say any more?

Sven Goren Erikkson – Head Coach
Swedish vallhund

“And there he is…the coach leading England out of the tunnel for what promises to be a very big day in Germany…”
- The Swedish vallhund was bred to herd cattle (or soccer teams), catch vermin (don’t know how this relates – wait, unless it’s a dig at those useless Neville brothers), and guard the house. The house being that little shed where they keep the reserves.
- The Swedish Vallhund (SV) finds new uses for toys. Like the time Sven Goren Erikkson (SGE) said “Lookit everyvun, the new adidas ball! Let’s kick it into the net!”
- they are quite good at problem solving – as in “Should I choose David Beckham as Captain? Why not”.
- The SV enjoys being stimulated by learning new tasks – like “What kind of smile should I use when my team hoists the Jules Rimet trophy and takes the whole thing when this whole World Cup finishes?”

Eat this Ron Maclean…

Just watching Hockey Night in Canada and it sort of bugged me how Ron Maclean ended the pre-overtime banter with Don Cherry.

R: Don, who you picking to score in overtime?
Don: For the Oilers – Mike Peca, for the Hurricanes – Eric Staal.
Ron: I’m going with Eric Staal, and Glen Wesley.

Ron picked TWO hurricanes.

Now, i know my blog’s time is ahead by a few hours, so i can report that as i write this Carolina have not yet won the cup – but i bugs me that he picked two hurricanes.

EDMONTON JUST SCORED A SHORT HANDED GOAL..

GAME SIX COMING UP…

PISANIIII!!!

Eat that Ron Maclean

Honk if you’re Brazilian…

Every Tuesday and Wednesday nights i play co-ed soccer in toronto.
It’s an after-work social league for people who either never played soccer when they were kids, or just remember playing it, or just want to have fun.

we played tonight at a school on ossington – so our game tonight was right amid the brazilian celebration.

YAAAAHHHH HONK HONK HONK!

we’re not brazilian by any stretch. if anything, we’re dutch. Our team wears orange (we have a real live Dutch player too – straight outtta Rotterdam! – okay i’m not sure if it’s rotterdam, but rotterdam sounds gute.)

anyhow, the best parts of the game was the honking and cheering while we were playing.
the field was close enough to the road to get cheers by the brazilian fans. as well, some people even stopped by to watch by the fence.

good times.

the teams even got into it with some arguments over goals and free kicks. i’m sure if someone threw a flare then our goalie would have feigned an injury or something.
the game had south american flair.

i played the part of a poor man’s roberto carlos. my kicks weren’t as deadly. my best hoof of the day went into the street.

the most brazilian part for us was the bumpy crappy field – straight outta sao paulo.

good times.

BRAZIL!