Shirtless in Toronto

Okay so the plan was to go downstairs to the basement for a shower – because if you’re living in Toronto right now without air conditioning you know it’s hot.

So i’m heading downstairs with just shorts and my towel.

I didn’t even have clear eyesight as i had taken out my contacts.

But somehow along the way i got sidetracked by L and we began to make dinner. I mixed a salad and toasted hamburger buns.

sans shirt.

then my brother and i did the dishes.

me sans shirt.

L and i sit out for a second – but i can’t sit still cuz it’s hot
so i proceed to clean the BBQ. change the grease trap et al.

sans shirt. (okay you’re getting the picture here)

just as i’m finishing, G-pa is working in the Tomatoes. So now i’m clearing up the tomato cuttings.

i didn’t know that removing the tomato leaves was part of the whole tomato process. it was like watching someone with shaggy bushy hair get a haircut and realizing there’s a face under that mop.

before we cut the tomatoes it just looked like a wild bush – now you can actually see that there are tomatoes growing.

anyhow, tomato plants are itchy on a bare back.

(cuz i’m not wearing a shirt)

this is where i have to mention that I ALWAYS WEAR A SHIRT.
Growing up, you know when you would play SHIRTS versus SKINS in a sports game in school (the sikk freak gym teachers) – well, i would find a way to get on the SHIRTS team.
I dont’ like not wearing a shirt.
I’m the kid who, in teh middle of summer, wears a SHIRT to go swimming and so is used to a jellyfish like thing clinging to me as i move around in the water.
I like to wear a shirt.
Hell, it can be the hottest day of the year and i will wear TWO t-shirts*

*for the record it stops the outside shirt from getting sweaty – if you really have to know. now back tot he program.

The point is, i really really like to wear shirts.

Which is why tonight was weird in that i’ve spent the last 3 hours without one.

The topper was after we did tomatoes, grandpa goes and gets the lawn mower.
now i’m not about to let him mow the lawn.
so i get my shoes and my glasses – because i need to see what i’m doing and don’t want to chop my toes off – but dont’ get a shirt.
i thought it was okay – cuz we’re in the backyard, but then my neighbour comes out and he and i have a discussion about the heat.

And i realized then and there, right now i’m the guy who talks to his neighbour without wearing a shirt.

It’s a slippery slope. i worry that soon i’ll be going up to get milk wearing nothing but some Umbros and flip-flops. it’s a bad scene.
there are reasons why restaurants want you to wear a shirt to serve you. even bad ones, like mcDO insist on it.

So i’m saying no to not wearing a shirt. It’s time to put something on and have it stay on. because wearing shirts is the right thing to do.
how hot can it really be? just shirt up and do it.
So although i write this without a shirt, i’m going to put on one right away.

well, i’ll get on it right after my shower.

Call out in your best Rocky voice

I know it’s going to be a little while until the MLS kicks off in Toronto, but I think it’s time the Toronto FC start thinking about what is going to make them a success beyond a wonderful new stadium and their uniform.

Let’s talk players that would fit in nicely with the FC.

First guy I have to suggest is Adrian Serioux. He plays midfield and defence – this year for the Houston Dynamo of the MLS.

(Very quick, cuz i’m not sure of the answer: Is it called “the MLS”? It’s all new to us here in toronto. When you think about it “The NHL” “The NBA” and “The NFL” all make sense – as in “the national hockey league.” However “The Major League Soccer” sounds weird. I probably have it all wrong – it probably just goes by “MLS”. I’ll stand to be corrected in the future.)

Adrian is Canadian.
He’s even a hometown boy.
Serioux is pronounced “Sir-Rowe”
And i’m serious.
He’s an excellent player.

He was a huge part of the Lynx playoff run back in the fall of 2000. Guys with less skill than him (guys like Chris Pozniak and Marco Reda) got gigs in Europe before he did – and he was by far the superior player.
(the lynx magical run that year was ended by none other than Dwayne DeRosario… another guy Toronto you need to get.)

Adrian can throw in a ball farther than some guys can kick. His throws are unbelievable.

Toronto – start working it today. Get Adrian.

Fenske’s 14 anti-laws

Came across this pdf of Mark Fenske’s 14 anti-laws of advertising. Have a look if you want.

http://www.rm116.com/adcenter/2005/03/fenskes_14_anti.html

Say no to Amigos

Don’t you hate traffic?

I’m waiting for a streetcar and it’s rush hour.

That means there’s two lanes of traffic going either way, with the two middle lanes being where the streetcar goes (drives? i’m not sure if streetcars drive – more like accelerate and brake, as there’s not much steering i’m not sure i can use “drive” in this sense. Well, i guess it’s like slot car racing – if you consider the pushing of the slot car trigger thing as driving then you can consider street car driving too. they both are electrical… anyo, back to our story)

so there are a lot of people on the road. and the lights are kind of short. shorter even at times because there’s an advanced green for one side, meaning that cars have to wait while 5 or six lucky souls in either north south direction get to get a head start.

anyhow a guy pulls into the right lane and stops,
i’m listening to music so i’m just watching the scene.
he’s sort of motioning to the guy to my left to come to the car.
the guy goes.
i’m interested so i turn off the music.
the guy in the car mentions something about “two amigos”
(we all know that in the movie version he’s buying three )
the guy beside me (who’s now not beside me, but beside the car – who i only said is beside me so as not to confuse between the two guys – in car, and beside)
anyhow
beside me guy comes back with $10 to the little phone card booth ont he corner and buys two “Amigo” phone cards.

At this point in-car guy has been holding up the right lane of traffic for quite a while.
beside-me guy returns with said “amigos” and change for in-car guy, and gives it to him. In car guy then speeds off.

If you’re wondering why traffic in the city is so bad today, this was one of the reasons.

Can’t people in cars realize.
A) don’t block lanes.
b) especially during rush hours and
c) if you ask someone on the street to pick you up a phone card, you should at least tip them with the change.

Hi I’m a mac

Just tried to watch some of those “Mac vs PC” ads – you know the ones with the guy from stuckeybowl? (Don’t know the actor’s name) – Yeah, the ads where he tells you all about how great the mac is?

Well.

Anyhow, I just got tired of  trying to load it in both Safari and in Firefox. Quicktime? It was more like slowtime.

i’m working off an eMac here. shouldn’t it load almost instantaneously? So much for mac superiority.

(though I have to admit, i know little about computers.)

Here’s to you, #27

Dear Mike Peca,

First off, do you prefer Michael? I prefer Michael – or mikey. But anyhow – welcome to Toronto. Welcome to the Toronto Maple Leafs.
Hope you had a good flight. I missed your press conference, but i did see in the paper you were sporting a golf shirt and your family looked very happy. I hear that was one of the reasons you signed here – you know because of your family.

I agree that family is important – I too would play for the Leafs for my family. (They’re all big leaf fans. Especially my dad – when he says Mats Sundin is a “big stupid” i know he says it out of a deep rooted love of the guy. You know, we’re hardest on the ones we love and all that.)

Anyhow, what do you think of Toronto so far?

I want to tell you a bit about Toronto as a Leaf Fan, and as someone who lives here.

First, the media are going to watch you like crazy. We’ve given up on the idea that we’ll get freedom through free agency, but that doesn’t stop us from thinking that every summer that guys like you, Hal (Gill) and Pavel Kubina are going to somehow mean that we hoist the cup next June.

Sadly, i know this isn’t going to be the year we’re going to do it. In fact i’ll be happy if you guys (now that you’re a leaf) make the playoffs.

I hope you didn’t sign because you thought you were coming to a contender.

You left a contender. At least one that proved that it could make it to the finals.

I’m happy you’re a leaf. But i’m sad for Edmonton. Not just because you left them – sure you helped them get to the final,  but also because  of how you and Chris left them. (i’m talking about Pronger.)

It just seemed so sudden. Like you had a great night out, and everyone had a great time, and you guys were the life of the party, and then…

boom

you both decided to split and hang with other dudes.

Now, Edmonton’s loss is toronto’s gain – and i’m happy you’re a leaf – but it still doesn’t make it right.

I sorta still feel you and Chris turned your back on some friends. (Especially Chris who signed a contract, and then one year into it decided to ask to be traded – you, not so much, because you were a free agent)

Anyhow,

welcome to toronto. and i just wanted to say it wouldn’t hurt to send a “thank-you” card to edmonton – you know, for old times sake.

see you around,

michael

Get Dwayne

The best MLSer is a Canadian.

At least, by the all-star votes this year.

Dwayne DeRosario.

Canadian Dwayne de Rosario got the most votes for this year’s MLS all-star team.

The team is going to play Chelsea sometime this summer.
Dwayne also has the honour of scoring the goals of the year in MLS in 2004 and 2005.

Simply: Dwayne gets it done.

Dwayne delivers.

Dwayne rocks.

Toronto FC – do what you can to get him in a toronto uniform,

but barring that, go gangbusters for the Canukes you can get.

Let’s see a stadium

On the same day as the world cup final, Toronto was having its grand prix race. (Or is it indy car? i’m not sure anymore.)

Every year, come july, the air in toronto is filled with the whine of indy cars. the sounds come from the exhibition grounds. which themselves are more used to the whine of carnies in august during the CNE.

Next summer it’s going to be different, in that a new soccer team will be playing in the MLS.

The Toronto FC will call the exhibition grounds their home.

Here is an artists rendering of their stadium.

I have to admit, i don’t know the name of the stadium – or if they’ve even named it yet.

But i’m looking forward to next year when TO FC begins to play.

The team, owned by Maple Leaf Sports, has posted photos of the construction. Here’s the last one from June 13, 2006.

You can notice the indy stuff also in the picture – like the bridge in the bottom left. THey’ll have removed that garbage by the time the FC take the field.

Pro Soccer in toronto that doesn’t involve driving up to Etobicoke = good times.

(I’m fully aware we have soccer in toronto – I’ll fill you in on my love hate relationship with the Toronto Lynx at another time. )

VW Rabbit Returns

The VW Rabbit evidently is a pest in Toronto.

Just saw this billboard on a Flickr site. The VW rabbit is being associated with a garbage eating rodent that usually has rabies, and the world famous “rat with wings.”

Do I want the car? Umm, no thanks.

See for yourself. Here is the link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/doncolleen/178107310/

UPDATE:

Yes, i’ve learned how to link so you don’t have to cut and paste the url anymore.

Second, i was driving on the DVP and a saw a new billboard with the same images of the racoon and the pigeon. So yeah, i still don’t want the car.

However, maybe if they worked in a skunk…

Another Update: Check out a Very Witty VW Rabbit Ad parody at brandspankin

Allergies

I’m at work today and my eyes are bugging me. They’re itchy and i’m sneezing. gross i know, but i can’t help it.

i don’t even know what i’m allergic to.

the only differences i can see are a) it rained today, b) someone at work has flowers and c) world cup semi-finals start today.

i was only 1 for 4 on my predictions in the quarter-finals – i thought argentina, brazil, and england were going through.

tomorrow’s game with portugal and franc should be really good.

I’m backing portugal the rest of the way.