Yeah, it’s monday.

Do you know what’s fun? Making yourself laugh.

Do you know what’s even more fun? Being surprised when you laugh.

About two minutes ago I typed the word “stinky” and started to giggle.

yes giggle. i feel so grade two right now.

“Stinky” wasn’t related to the topic i was writing, so i don’t know why i wrote it.

i was writing the sentence “it’s about helping brokers”, i looked at the sentence and then just dropped it in between “helping” and “brokers”.

“it’s about helping stinky brokers”

I don’t know why i found it funny.  it wasn’t even the context, it was the word “stinky” itself. perhaps it’s just a nice thought to help stinky people out.

cuz, when you really think about it, aren’t the stinky the most difficult to reach out to and help?

Seriously. We offer to help all kinds of people – little kids, grandparents, co-workers, the blind, friends who want to move heavy stuff.  But if those helping out situations involve stinky it adds a whole other layer of difficulty.

Some guy comes up and asks you directions to Skydome? No problem.

But make the same guy stinky and he’s standing there asking directions? – well, that’s more than you bargained for.

and stinky has a whole other layer that “smell” doesn’t.

if someone “smells” it’s usually a bad thing.

“man that guy smells!”

but “smells” seems cureable by shower, deodorant, or acclimatization. (The last one is the worst – it’s like stepping into the home of someone who smokes and you can smell it everywhere – but then later, after being in their house you can’t really smell cigarette smoke anymore…. until you leave and you realize that hanging out at that house has made you smell.)

stinky is different. stinky seems to have permanence to it, a lingering problem. stinky seems to be something that isn’t readily solved by a shower or some air freshener.

to overthink it even more – smell seems to come from an external source.

“george was sprayed by a skunk and now he smells”

versus stinky, which the unpleasant odour seems to come from within.

“poor george! skunks are stinky!”

for example, while this this blog entry may smell, it is perhaps a reflection that overall, this blog stinks.

Beers with Mo, Jim, and Jonathan

You know a guy is a good guy when you stand around, have a beer with him, and crack some jokes about Palace Pizza.

I had a chance to meet with the new Toronto FC coach Mo Johnston and the first player they signed, Jim Brennan, tonight at Cerverjaria on College Street.

If it were world cup, euro, or even the portuguese league finals there is no way we’d get a seat in that bar in that part of town. (though my brother survived going to see a netherlands game wearing his england shirt in there this summer.) But it’s october, and even though before the FC showed up they had Cristiano Ronaldo trying on some weird shirts on the big screen, it wasn’t enough to bring in a ton of folks.

Then the FC fans showed up. You see, Jim and Mo will be making weekly pub crawls throughout the city in November to get out and meet soccer fans in Toronto, and this was the first one.

Mo’s got a great sense of humour. Jim is really easygoing – and hey, when you come outta Newmarket, what else would you expect than for him to be a great guy? He just about agreed to come out and play some ball hockey in Aurora with some buddies.

Jim, if we can’t do the ball hockey, we’ll go for beers at the Grey Goat on Main Street. It’ll be good.

It was a good night out. Fans, coach, player – everyone’s looking forward to the coming season. (and that’s before taking into account the great response on season’s ticket sales.)

I also got to hang out with Jonathan Cubas. He’s starting a web magazine dedicated entirely to Canadian soccer (National teams, Toronto FC, A-League, Canadians abroad).
The site is going to launch in mid-november.

Jonathan has got a great story:

He was born in the US, but he fell in love with the Canadian national men’s team at the Gold Cup in 2000.

Now he’s here.

As a long time canadian soccer fan it just warmed my heart to hear it. I thought 2000 was going to be the Gladwell-esque tipping point for Canadian Soccer.
I could see them doing no wrong – the next step was the world cup…. but it didn’t happen.

To have Jonathan join the legions (and by legions i mean the handful of fiercely loyal Canucks who love the nats – yes, we’re not the leafs nation but we ouggta be.) of Canadian fans is just excellent.

Of course, I’ll post to let you know when the site is up and running – i’ll be writing for it.

Cracker’s greatest hit

Back in the 90s i liked this band Cracker.

You may remember their hits, Low, Get Off This, Eurotrash Girl.

They’re a good band.

I even braved going to see that awful band that sang “Runaway Train” at the carpeted Ottawa Congress Centre just so i could see Cracker open the show for them.

I tell you, you shouldn’t have carpets at venues. It’s just a trippy mess. Especially in the heydey of the mosh pit.

Cracker have done something cool.

They were dropped by their record label – Virgin. Anyhow,  Virgin decided to put out a “best of”using the songs that Cracker recorded.

Cracker decided to re-record their hits and release their own album on the exact same day as the Virgin release.

Here’s a link to Cracker’s Homepage

The band -endorsed  album is called Greatest Hits: Redux.

Scarier than the bird flu

There’s a whole lot of reasons to stay out of the hospital if you get sick in the United States. And it’s got nothing to do with money.
Slate magazine has an article that talks about “methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus” – MRSA or staph infections – a “deadly organism that is increasingly common stateside” especially in US hospitals.

It’s estimated that this kills an estimated 13,000 people per year. Slate says that a hospital patient is “10 times as likely to die of MRSA as an inmate is to be murdered in prison.”

Here is a link to the story.

typo negative

I came to write in the blog here today and the first thing i saw was that i spelled “expansion” wrong in my most recent post.

I tend to do a number of things when i’m writing in my blog. I type quickly, don’t edit, and don’t spell check.

Yes, these are very bad traits for someone who calls himself a writer and an editor.

The thing is, i don’t get that worked up over spelling mistakes. They’re not good, i agree. But there are times when the enthusiasm for something just takes over.

Like finding a note on your fridge that says your brother has Leaf tickets and you do want to go tonight? I’m not to worried if he’s spelled anything wrong there.

But, this is not my fridge. And these posts are not Leaf tickets. Though if they were that would be really sweet.

Do you hate seeing spelling mistakes?

I’ll begin to spell check today.

Post spell check. Okay, no cavities.

There’s just something about an expansion draft that gets the blood pumping…

Times are going to get fun for the Toronto FC in the next little while.

We have one player and one coach right now.

I’m looking forward to the coming weeks when they start signing a bunch of Canadian players to fill out our roster.

There’s also the MLS expansion draft. I’m not too sure of how many guys we’re going to get from that exercise – after all, the team is mostly going to be Canadians and, Dwayne Derosario and Pat Onstad aside, there aren’t a lot of Canadians playing in MLS.

But just saying the words “expansion” and “draft” are exciting. I think back to opening night of the Ottawa Senators when they had both Brad Marsh and Sylvain “Sly” Turgeon in the line-up. I think Marshy came by trade, but Turgeon was sooo expansion draft material!

It has to be hard being an expansion draft guy. Your former team has said “you’re good enough to be in the NHL, but not good enough to be here – so we’re sending you to the expansion team.”

To relate this hockey analogy back to soccer i think of the guys who every year play in the Championship division – get a team to make it’s way up to the Premiership – and then promptly sit for most of the season when their team is up there.

The name Stan Lazaridis comes to mind when describing these players.

Unfortunately this sort of fate also befalls Canadians. I remember watching Jim Brennan tear it up as a member of Nottingham Forest – and his team barely missed promotion.
Paul Peschisolido worked magic for years as a “supersub” for Sheffield United – and now the blades are up at the top.
Same goes for Jason DeVos and Wigan. DeVos led the Lactics to their division two title (i guess div two is now division one, what with the old first division now called the Championship… it can get confusing. Well not really, but i have to say, for all the confusion that is Italian soccer at least they’ve got their divisions all in order.) And now Wigan is up in the Premmie.
So let’s hear it for the workhorses – they guys who get things going and set a good start for a franchise.
I don’t think Toronto FC is going to have the same problems that NHL expansion franchises have. If we get a number of good young Canadians, this team will be fine.

Whitecaps up, Lynx down

It’s the ying-yang of Canadian soccer – the same year one team wins the A-League championship, another examines its future and moves down to the Premier Development League.
The Vancouver Whitecaps – in name the storied franchise of the NASL days – won its first A-League title with a 3-0 win against Rochester – in Rochester – on September 30, 2006.

Canadian national Jeff Clarke was the MVP of the game.
Rochester is no pushover. It’s arguable that Rochester NY could support an MLS team. They’ve had, over the last couple of years, one of the most competitive A-League teams out there. And a couple of years ago they even won the US equivalent of the F.A. Cup – beating MLS teams along the way.

They had a nice “derby” going with Toronto Lynx for a while. Of all the A-League teams, they were the only ones that brought their own fans to the game. I remember sitting in Varsity stadium amazed at a) how many people in safari hats came all the way from Rochester to see their team lose and thought b) well I guess you take any chance you can to get out of Rochester.

But that Lynx/Rhino derby is going to be no more.
The Toronto Lynx announced in early October that they’re moving their senior men’s team down to the Premier Development League.
This move has everything to do with the coming of the MLS. TheLynx had their work cut out for them.
The first problem was location. After they moved from UofT’s Varsity Stadium they moved around from the York University field to Centennial Stadium. If you’ve tried to find Centennial from the 401, 427, or anywhere and found it I’d like to hear from you. Conveniently located that stadium is not. When they were downtown there was easy access.
The second problem was the Toronto media didn’t really pay any attention to them. They had this great play-off run in the fall of 2000 that was barely covered in the dailies. (The Lynx can thank a Dwayne DeRosario goal for ruining that playoff dream.)
The team worked and volunteered in the community, but from  a media stand-point it was all very low profile.
The third problem was maintaining the on-field product. USL A-League was (now that the MLS is here we can say was) the highest level of soccer that was played in Canada. Yet the lure for better players to give it a go abroad called. That meant while players like Tottenham’s Paul Stalteri once played for the team, there wasn’t enough of a future there for him to stay. (Though if given the chance to play in White Hart Lane, I’m sure I’d choose that over Centennial.)
I look for players like Rob Aristodemo and Dave Diplacido to show up playing soccer somewhere good next year. I’m hoping it’s the MLS.

And congrats to the Whitecaps. I’m sure the Toronto FC will be calling for players.

Sportsnot.

It’s thanksgiving weekend.

The smell of turkey is in the air, the sun is shining, and the Canadian National Team is getting ready to play their rematch today against Jamaica.

But it’s not on television.

 And it’s not mentioned in today’s Sunday Sun. (Hate to say I read the sun this morning, but hey, I’m out of town and you take what you get.)

It’s a little disappointing that the game isn’t televised. But it must be televised somewhere in Jamaica – why can’t Sportsnet (yes, it’s sportsnets fault) pick up a feed, relay it, and just beam it into our homes.

You wouldn’t even have to go so far as to get Craig and Jerry to forego their thanksgiving turkeys. I’d be happy with whatever you’d show – even if it’s someone with a video camera shooting it from the stands.

Anyhow. Rob Friend is playing today, so perhaps he’ll get another goal.

Okay, back to turkey.

Does Ben Affleck wear a hair piece?

One of the things I’ve come to love about wordpress, so far, are the search terms people use that have them ending up here, reading this blog.
Yesterday someone was curious if Ben Affleck wore a hair piece, and so they typed it into some search engine and ended up here.

I don’t know why. To my recollection, I’ve never talked about Ben Affleck or hair pieces before.

But if you’re here because you’re curious if Ben Affleck has a hair piece, I don’t want you to go away empty headed. Okay that was cheap. Empty handed.

So, for the next three minutes, ala Encyclopedia Brown, i’m going to do my damndest to find out, for you, if indeed Ben has plugs, a wig, or a comb-over.

First, let’s figure out what exactly a hair piece is. Back in the 80s they had hair club for men. As a kid I always assumed that Sy Sperling was some sort of president of a bad swimmers association. Besides, that was some sort of chemical treatment. We’re talking about hair pieces here. Those furry things, like the sasquatch, that are rarely seen by man. For the record, this is the closest thing to a real hair piece i could find.
Next, we’ll examine Ben Affleck. Here’s a picture of Ben in the dugout with the Boston Red Sox. Right away you’ll notice that his hair is covered by both a hat AND a hoodie. Hmmm. Why both? You could argue that someone with a hair piece would go such lengths as a hat and hoodie to cover up the fact they have a hair piece. After all, should the hood fail, he has a back-up hat.

TIMES UP.

With the evidence we’ve found, Mr. Affleck may indeed be covering something up. However, there are too many bald spots in this story for any solid conclusions – and thus, this entry should be deleted.

PostScript: October Ten, 2006.

It seems that this Ben Affleck thing is so old news that someone was talking about it back in 2002.

See Vous Play

Caught CBC Radio 3’s See Vous Play concert last night at the Kool Haus in Toronto.

Les Breastfeeders, Emily Haines, Les Trois Accords, and Joel Plaskett all played.

I really enjoyed Les Trois Accords. Prior  to last night, the only thing i knew about their home town of Drummondville was that little Nicky, one of the kids  in the movie/story the dog who stopped the war came from there.

Last night the boys from Drummondville played really well in their Toronto debut.