Holy Togo.
It’s half-time.Togo are up one nothing on South Korea. (South Korea are somewhere in the neighbourhood of $925.3 billion up on North Korea, but that’s another story.)
Let’s have a quick look at Togo.

Okay, I don’t know too much about them except there’s a city in Togo called Mango. Is it where mangoes come from? Who knows? So, for my lack of information ABOUT Togo, I’ll provide information that I’m certain has nothing to do with Togo – yet, in a world of lazy spelling or a slip of the finger, could result in a misspelled Togo name resulting in – I dunno – the collapse of democracy.

Here are some possible misspellings of Togo, and the implications thereof:

Toro: Something to do with bullfighting. Perhaps the bull itself. You see, there’s a picador that stabs the bull. And the matador who also stabs the bull. And the people cheer. And the people that ran with the bull before it was killed thought they were all brave and such.

“I’ve just ran with the bulls – I’m alive!”

Good for you, you idiot. You’re special. Just like everyone else wearing those bandanas. Congrats, you’re an adrenalin junkie asserting your individualism – join the club – you and Jack Osborne. “I came within 30 feet of the bull – man, my heart is beating” How do you think the bull feels? It’s going to die. Ahh well, you survived! See you at burning man!

To Go: What do you do when you order food at a restaurant that has seats in it, perhaps even table service, but you don’t want to stay inside the restaurant to eat? Perhaps you want to avoid tipping a waiter and prefer to eat your food on the curb outside the restaurant – before being asked by the waiter to ‘take it somewhere else’. Also related is “Carry Out” or “Take Out”.

Toga: A giant bedsheet wrapped around your torso. Sure it’s supposed to be the clothing of such classic thinkers as Socrates and Bluto Blukowski – but it’s also a sign of complete laziness. You know those lazy days when you lounge around in pyjamas at like 3 pm? You know those even lazier days where you lounge around in pyjamas and you stay in bed? You know those lazy days when you don’t bother to even get into pyjamas in the first place and just wander around lazily with a bedsheet wrapped around your unshowered self? You’re disgusting. That’s a Toga.

Tora (Tora Tora): Words uttered on July 7, 1941 that set the attack on Pearl Harbour in motion – an attack that saw the Japanese air force sink the US navy in their dockyards. Unfortunately these words have no effect on destroying the movie starring Ben Affleck (Afflick? I’m not sure) named Pearl Harbour.

Tori(i) – Amos, Spelling, and (the double “i” version) Hunter. A singer, a centre fielder, and a terrible actress. Guess which one is which?
Toto: Everyone knows the little dog that belonged to Dorothy but there was also (is? can anyone confirm if they’re still kickin’ it?) a band from the 80s called toto who had a hit with a song called – very fitting when talking about Togo – Africa. I can’t remember if it was a #1 or anything, but I remember something about the rains.


Tito:
Tito Santana was a wrestler in the 1980s. He won his matches with a combination of a flying punch and the figure four leg-lock. His arch nemesis was Greg “The Hammer” Valentine.

Another Tito ran Yugoslavia behind the iron fist of the iron curtain – I guess his figure four leg-lock would have held together Serbia, Croatia, Montenegro, and Bosnia.

The last Tito could groove in a sort of mediocre lame way. Sure, his detractors say Tito Jackson was the 7th member of the Jackson Five, but I have him at 6pointFive. After all, someone had to keep the bass grooves going during the Victory Tour.

Goto: You know as a little kid when you were in Radio Shack (Circuit City, and before that the Source) and they had those crappy Tandy computers? Well everything in those days was written in Basic. I remember this one basic “programming” technique.

Ready
10 Print “Let’s go Togo”
20 Goto 10
Run

Toque: A great hat to wear in the winter.

So there you have it. Togo… where were we. Oh, Korea have gone up 2-1.
Well they had a good Run.

Let’s go Togo
Let’s go Togo
Let’s go Togo
Let’s go Togo
Let’s go Togo

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