It’s taken me a while to accept what happened.

Liverpool lost 3-0 (that’s three – nil for the purists out there) to cross-town rivals Everton on Saturday.

Not growing up in Liverpool or anything, and being a fan come lately. (As in i’ve only followed the team from the time  when my friend Andrew brought me a jersey back from Liverpool in 1997. Then in 1998 the phenomenum of Michael Owen solidified my allegiance… anyhow i digress)…

what i was going to say was, i know i’m supposed to hate Everton as a Liverpool fan, but there’s been a couple of things i’ve liked over the years. Actually, only two:
1. John Collins. The scottish mid-fielder who played most of his games in France, but he also had a stint for Everton. And

2. Tomasz Radzinski. Yes, i was always happy to see Tomasz do well for everton – even though i wanted Everton to lose. Say he’d score two on a 3-2 everton loss – that sort of thing.

So those two players have lessened my hate for Everton – the supposed hate i’m supposed to have for them.

Well, this year it’s easier for me not to like Everton.

First, they just beat liverpool 3-0. Liverpool outplayed them most of the match. Yes, yes, yes- how can i say that liverpool outplayed them and they lost 3-0? it seems stupid. but ‘pool took it to them with shots. They just didn’t connect with anything.

I have to put the blame on one guy – besides Crouch – it was the inability of Jamie Carragher to stop a ball, any ball, that came near him or to his part of the field.
He’s usually pretty good. On Saturday he was terrible.

Yeah, i’m done. i don’t want to talk about it anymore.

Except to say that Gerrard is the only thing going right now for Liverpool. I also loved the energy of Dirk Kuyt. That guy took some shots, ran around like a crazed Dutchman, and brought some energy to the field.

On to the things i don’t like about Everton. the one thing that makes it really easy to hate them in 2006 is their Neville brother.

Now, to be fair, i’m not even sure which neville brother they have – phil or phil’s brother.

They’re both terrible. I don’t even think their mom likes them.

For years I hated those guys on United. Just couldn’t stand them. I could never see what Sir Alex saw in them. Then, they kept getting picked to play for England.

Sheesh. The Neville brothers reminded me of the queen’s corgis. loud, useless, and -i guess- english.

Anyhow, they have a Neville.

Strike three is Tim Howard, their goalie.

Now, i don’t really have that much against tim howard – i’ve just made it standard policy to dislike american goalies.

i blame it on kasey keller.
I can’t stand Kasey Keller. The image of him doing the “guns” when he stopped all 5 of Canada’s penalty kicks at the last gold cup. makes me ill.

Liverpoo used to have an american keeper named Brad Friedel. Again, nothing against him personally – he just sat on the bench and collected a paycheck behind David James. He just wastn’ that good. at the time i didn’t have an opinion about him – since seeing keller rub it in Canada’s face – yeah, i’ve come to think Friedel wasn’t too good.

And now there’s Tim Howard. Again, like the Nevilles, a Sir Alex find – Howard being taken from the NY/NJ Metrostars and thrown onto the crazy pitchforked pitch that is “THEATRE OF DREAMS” … then cast aside.

What is THEATRE OF DREAMS anyway? It’s a 70s prog-rock nightmare is what it is. It’s pink floyd played to an empty planetarium with a broken strobe light that annoys the audience – and the theatre door is jammed shut, and the auditorium smells vaguely of bleach and pool chemicals.
It’s no dream, it sucks is what it is.

Oh, Tim Howard. It’s not you Tim, it’s just that you’re a yankee goalie – and you guys stand in the way of Canada making it to the world cup, is all.

So there are my reasons everton are terrible. And now that Radzinski is gone to Fulham, i have no reason to wish any good upon their team.

All i have to say is, they’ll get theirs when they visit anfield.

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